1997 - The Happy Flat - Michelle G0r

Feb: I was still working at the national social worker's body. Michelle moved from the cool pad in Clifton, then briefly to a place on Gloucester Road, and then to a shared house in Bedminster...which was full of clubbers. We were seeing each other every day... I was spending most nights at her place, leaving for work together... the fun-buzz vibe of '96 was fading as 1997 took a firm hold.

It was early Feb when she dropped a bombshell on me; she wasn't sure she wanted to be in a relationship. She wasn't sure she wanted to be living in Bristol. Her best mate "Lisa" was now living in London and was desperate for Michelle to follow. I was stunned.

So I went through a tense couple of days not knowing what was going on... feel really sick to the core. But then we were back on. And I think this pissed Lisa off more than I ever realised: it's taken the hindsight of a few years to realise the part Lisa may have played in events that occurred over the next few months.

Michelle and I treated ourselves to a rendezvous in a hotel: room 216.

1997 - Newcastle - AKR

Feb : Simon P & Vicky had arranged to visit friends in Newcastle, and deliver a murder mystery experience, so we dug out the one I'd written back in 1990, and re-written for last year, and we drove up to Newcastle.

My sister had just turned 16... she's actually wearing the same rugby top I was wearing back in 1986, when I was 16 and starting 6th Form College.

My sister was only able to complete her exams at the school she'd spent the past few years through the generosity of our Norweigan family. Dad no longer had the funds to pay for her school fee's. His health was failing to the point where he couldn't continue do any of the freelance accountancy. Rob P and Ed W, the two men who stole the company he had built from nothing, continued to refuse him his rightful share of the goodwill... and so the legal wranglings continued...whilst Dad's solicitors threatened to stop any further proceedings until Dad paid them their fees!!!!!

Vultures on all sides. But I didn't know this then. Dad wasn't telling anybody and mum and I barely spoke a word on any of my visits home.

1997 - Cafe Blue - Phil McVee

March: Phil McVee had left Las Iguanas and reappeared managing Cafe Blue, which itself had gone through a radical transformation. Back in late 1995, it had been a vast empty space, with a few shoppers nursing coffee's, heated with badly ventilated gas-tank burners that fluttered in the cold wind blowing under the old doors of the fire-station (previous purpose of building)...

...now it was becoming a pre-club mecca, and eventually it became a late-lisence club in its own right. It's around now that Phil McVee and his motley crew of barman-mates became the ideal basis for a group of characters I wanted in my new story, Living in Flames. I interviewed them, whilst Michelle sat nearby...

1997 - Jo Cubas Cafe - Philippe T

March: by now I'd saved up enough money to repeat the 1996 experience... I'd given my boss a month's notice and bailed out of my contract in March to write a film-script... feature length, based on the novel idea for Living In Flames. My boss said "come back when you've finished, there'll be a job waiting for you."

Cool! So I spent my mornings on the #1 bus, heading into town to Jo Cubas cafe... mugs of coffee and cream-cheese and ham sandwhiches... and scribbling stacks of paper notes. But things were different. Gordaz had left, under a cloud, and now the place was being directly managed by Sajid, so there was a more relaxed atmosphere to the service...

the guys were coming in at 5 o'clock in the morning to prepare the sandwhiches in time for opening at 7 a.m.

1997 - Jo Cubas Cafe - David M

March: Philippe T and his buddy David M were no longer just guys who "served me coffee" A cool friendship developed over several weeks as we shared many moments over coffee, chatting and getting to know each other. They were a lovely pair of blokes, into clubbing and had a passion for Orbital... passing on many tapes of Orbital albums for me to enjoy.

1997 - Camden Palace / London - Michelle Gor, Djr

April: Michelle had been going to London most weekends to party with her best friend, Lisa. I came along on one of these trips and had to endure the barely-restrained scornful glares of Lisa... in between her taking great snorts of white-lines and talking utter shallow shite...

It dawned on me then that in Lisa's eyes, I was nowhere near good enough (cool enough) for her best friend. Michelle mediated well, and managed to act like there was no tension between Lisa and I.

1997 - Frogmore Street - Stu

April: Steve Stalker was still living in Frogmore Street, with a guy called STU, who ran a VJ business for techno clubs.

1997 - The Ying Yang House - Djr

April: my money was going fast. Trips to London. Clubbing with Michelle. And I'd just bought a brand new Playstation 1. I had to finish Living in Flames before my funds ran dry. At least I had a safe job to slip back into...

Nice Guy Tony was coming around quite a bit, playing Call of Cthulhu with Simon. Mick had vanished from England... a round-the-world cycling trip for him.

I started spending more time back in the Happy Flat, getting into Resident Evil (1) and Wipeout when I wasn't writing Living in Flames.

1997 - The Ying Yang House - Matthias P

April: since the whole mad love rush with Michelle had kicked off, I'd barely seen much of Matthias. He'd started film college so was away during the day, and most nights I was with Michelle.

It was around now that Matthias started dating an American girl (AB). She was kind of fun at first but... there was a strange vibe to the whole thing, which spilled over into the atmosphere of the Ying Yang house. A dark cloud was brewing.

Michelle moved out of Bedminster and into a tiny box of a room, adjoining a living room, in a shared house in Clifton.

1997 - The Happy Flat - Jeremiah

May: I was near the end of Living in Flames and had met a couple of creative blokes (Jeremiah and C0lin Br0wn) hanging out at the Arnolfini cafe. We started collaborating on a creative venture, which led to me starting to produce a one-sheet "fanzine" called PLATFORM... I dropped a few of them off around the city... each issue narrated the fictional life of an enigmatic character I had named Baron Zade.

1997 - The Arnolfini Cafe - Kieth

1997 - The Arnolfini Cafe - Glen Comradski

Glen was living in a student house just off Whiteladies Road, it had once been a hotel, so was no a massive labyrinthine sprawl of rooms and corridors. He came in one day before he started his shift, working behind the bar, walked up to me and threw a copy of God Seed down on the table. I was stunned, there was a book... with the jacket sleeve bearing a design for God Seed. Of course, the book was some second hand trash he'd decided to sacrifice to the concept... gluing on his own "God Seed" cover over the original... but the moment stuck in my brain. I longed for the day when it wouldn't be a mock-up, but I'd really have a copy of God Seed, published, in my hands.

Sidenote: it took 10 years for this to come true.

1997 - Bristol - Djr

June: I finished Living in Flames. I was pretty damned pleased with it. A great story idea with some punchy characters. I had used up all of my money to finish it.

Disaster 1: I went back to the council-worker's body to pick-up my job again, and found things had changed, and found that there was no longer a job available.

Shit.

I was in the same bloody situation as last year, almost. I hit the temping agencies and hoped they could find me a job sooner than later.

1997 - Bristol - Michelle G0r

June: disaster #2.

Michelle lost the ring I'd bought her for Christmas. Michelle started vanishing for a couple days at a time. Then a couple other observations made it obvious what was going on...

...not again!

We talked about it, she told me most of it... it was a big-name DJ with the initials J-K. Within days of this though we had our first argument. Surreal, all this time together and never a word raised in anger or a dark glance... but then one day at her place in Clifton - bang - a real shouting match.

We parted company on bad terms. Then Michelle started getting weird phone calls at night... I know, because I picked up the blame for them. Michelle rang me and told me to stop: I didn't know what she was on about, and I still don't who was behind those calls...

A couple weeks later she moved out of Bristol and moved into London... and vanished from my life. Snap. Click your fingers and she's gone.

I was utterly gutted.

1997 - Arnolfini Cafe / Bristol - Mel Possum Basher

June: over the past few months the Arnolfini had become the main place for me to hang out. I'd probably OD'd on The Watershed. Most of the staff had become good acquaintances, some had become friends (Glen Comradski), including Mel.

Mel was just an amazingly loving and compasionate woman. During the first few days after Michelle and I came to an end, Mel was really there for me, a shoulder to cry on and strong positive words. She moved back to New Zealand not long after this, and sadly we lost touch.

1997 - Newcastle - AKR, Djr

July : I spent three days "hiding" in Matthias' place... I couldn't bear to go upstairs into my pad... the memories of what had been there in my life only days earlier, and now gone, was too painful. I felt as if I'd had part of me ripped out.

Then Mathias leant me some Nine Inch Nails CD's and I went upstairs and spent a day ripping the Happy Flat apart. I moved my study from the backroom, into my bedroom... and visa versa. I changed the pictures. I moved everything around.

The temping agencies weren't coming up with any work for me, so I jumped on a National Express coach and did the 9 hour ride, via Birmingham...

Dad came to meet me and drove me home. I was a mess. But being there was good.

I came back to Bristol... broke.

It was around now that Simon P was living on St Michaels Hill; I told him my predicament and asked him if he could lend me any money so I could cover my rent until I found another job. Simon had a go at me, lectured me on how irresponsible I was... his words really stung, in fact, his rant hurt me so much it embedded a barbed thorn in my consciousness... our friendship was damaged from that moment. He leant me £40.

Meanwhile I harrassed the temping agencies, but their books were flooded with students for the summer holidays. Nothing was coming my way.

I couldn't turn to my parents: they were close to losing the house. I couldn't turn to Simon P again. Matthias was broke. Michelle was going through her own financial turmoils. I began to face the prospect of not being able to pay my rent... yet alone having enough money to live. Out of desperation I called Nice Guy Tony's parents... they came round with an envelope of cash. Enough to help me cover my rent for the month. I was overwhelmed with grattitude.

But I was also facing the prospect of having to move out in 4 weeks unless some work came through.

1997 - Bristol - Djr

August : Two interviews came up at once. Both were for 6 month admin gigs. One was at a company that had inherited the Bureau, so I had the experience the role needed, it was also relatively easy to get to... the other was at a strange government complex on the edge of the Westbury On Trym, with buildings that reminded me of something that belonged to a Ministry in Orwells' 1984... it seemed to be miles from where I lived, and I had no experience of IT: they actually offered me the job there and then, but I said I had to consider my options...

I remember I got back into the city centre and went into Jo Cubas; it was a grey day, threatening to rain. I scribbled down costs, comparitive incomes... pros and cons. The appearance of those builings stuck with me. The first option seemed to be the most sensible but...

I rang the recruitment company and said I was keen to take the 2nd option, if they could increase the rate-of-pay to cover the extra travelling expense. They agreed. And so I began working at "The Agency". Little did I know then that my 6 month gig would turn into a professional career lasting 8 years.

My first pay cheque I was able to pay back Simon, and my rent was assured.

This photo was taken in the welfare room of Block 1, an open kitchen with vending machines. At the same time I started working at The Agency, I started working on a new novel... the working title was "Heist" but this later got changed to become "Dante's Fool".

Block 1 had something new, something I'd heard about but never really experienced... it was called The Internet. Upstairs, there was a stand-alone PC in a room with a couple of coffee vending machines, utterly isolated from the corporate data-network... with a Pipex dial-up modem. I discovered Search Engines, and was awe-struck at the depth of research I could do from this pokey little room... I began to spend every available minute up there, pulling together details for the characters of Cage, Dorgan and DS Cloud.

I got back into the gym, 5 days a week, every night after work. I started buying meat, meat and more meat... and after 27 years of being allergic to bananas, I suddenly had a craving for the curved yellow things... I was munching through about 5 a day, every day.

One day in August I was leaving the Happy Flat to grab the #1 bus, which conveniently went all the way from my house, through town, up Park Street, through Clifton, across the downs, through Westbury on Trym and dropped me off right outside the government complex. One bus ride...almost unheard of for commuters on Bristol's rubbish bus service...anyway, I was leaving for work and grabbed up a letter waiting for me downstairs. I was spending almost every spare moment - including the 45 minute bus journey, and my coffee breaks and lunch breaks - scribbling notes for Heist/Dante's Fool... so I didn't look at the letter until halfway through the morning. When I did look at it I found it was addressed to David Johansen Rodger. Eh? Nobody called me that, except my mother...

... I tore open the envelope and found two pages of neatly hand-written text inside. I read words from my mother that blew me away... a lengthy, sincere, heartfelt apology for being such a terrible mother to me... tears started rolling down my face... and I remembered all the years she was never there when I was a child, growing up in Heaton, I remembered all the verbal abuse when I started Middle-School, bringing friends home at the age of 11 and being mortified to have my mother swearing at them... reeling... slurring... telling them to fuck off... a reputation that quickly got round the school and affected me personally... I remembered the aggression, the punches and objects flung at me as I became a teenager... and I remembered never feeling like I could actually belong at home. Rejection ran deep in my veins...I'd always felt, but now, suddenly was this amazing written hug...

I rang mum and thanked her, from the bottom of my heart, and I guess that's when, after 27 years, mum came back into my life again.

1997 - Bristol - Trudi

August: I'd known Trudi from the Bristol scene for months and used to catch-up over coffee or a drink every few weeks. Now things were different... memory of a night waiting for her outside her pad in St Pauls, she turned up from a gig at a recording studio, climbing out of the taxi wearing an all-in-one rainbow coloured, opaque, body stocking... contours to dream about...

1997 - The Happy Flat - Sam

August: Sam was lovely. I'd met her ages back, during some of the early days of Lakota... we reconnected for a while.

At the end of August I got a phone call from Michelle, in London. I caught the Bakers Dolphin coach and met her in Park Lane... it was like spending a day with a virtual stranger. Had a nice day but there was a surreal, unbridgeable distance between us now. I really enjoyed seeing her but I didn't feel sad... in fact, I felt the opposite. My life had taken a sudden upswing and I was realising that being cut lose from the relationship with Michelle, although painful for a couple of weeks, was fate / life / serendipty nudging me onto the next track.

Michelle and I hung out in Camden market for a while; I bought a pair of massive New Planet Rock boots... we sat in a pub and she read the first five chapters of Heist / Dante's Fool which I'd been able to complete... I was very very very excited about this new novel. Michelle told me she was seeing somebody, described him as tall dark and handsome, some connection to Soho... I was genuinely happy for her.

I caught the bus back to Bristol that afternoon; Michelle waved me off from Park Lane... I never saw her again.

Back in Bristol I popped into Tesco to buy some supplies, got chatting to a woman in the queue behind me... said something cheesy like I'd noticed she was only buying for one. She took me back to her house and ended up in bed together. Which, it seemed, was all I was interested in... I was meeting women, women who could have been fantastic friends, but instead I was burning most of those potential friendships - or ignoring the concepts of nurturing trust and respect - in the selfish, self-centred quest for a sexual thrill. Women had become disposable in my life. My attitude was I'd be up front an honest about my sexual proclivity, if they didn't like the idea of sharing me, then I didn't care...

...I was full of it. Brimming with confidence, arrogance and an unsatiable thirst for experiences...

Sidenote: the same day I came back from London after seeing Michelle, was the same night Princess Diana died.

1997 - Bristol - Marta

September : I got to know Marta through Elena, who used to work at the Watershed... Marta was a fun Spanish girl who was only over for a few more weeks before heading back to Spain to live. We kept in touch for years, with lovely letters every few months...

1997 - Bristol - Cat

September : Cat was the definative grunge chick. I met her through Matthias... this picture was taken at SPANK...

1997 - Cyprus (photo from) - Matthias P

September: This was Matthias' first family trip he'd done in years... certainly all the time I'd known him, he'd never been away anywhere... not with family and not abroad. So, he vanished to Cyprus and he came back different, re-energised, radiant... he was still living downstairs in the Ying-Yang House, I was still upstairs in the Happy Flat and our friendship was good. He got me into yet more cool music, Barry Adamson, and other Bondesque Beats.

I was growing my collection of LTJ Bukem albums.

He'd bought his own Playstation 1, and had become utterly hooked on Lara Croft Tombraider: I just didn't dig it, I was into my Resident Evil.

1997 - Bristol - the New Gang

September: it was around now that my friendship with Philippe T and David M really took off. I loosely used them as the basis for characters in Heist / Dante's Fool. There was a succession of really cool nights out that spanned several months... many of them centred around Louises pad (David M's Irish girlfriend).

1997 - Arnolfini / Bristol - Jessica Starry Eyes

October: it was another Saturday night at Lakota. There were some amazing tunes playing and the atmosphere on the main floor was overwhelming, elevating, just fantastic... everyone was smiling at everyone else, a mass of bodies and limbs moving in rhythm and sync. Out of nowhere this tiny figure whirled up to me with the biggest brightest smile, glitter radiating from around her eyes in swirling patterns... enter Jessica into my life, a few seconds later followed by Stef, a broad shouldered, intense, gum chewing South African who I couldn't tell if he wanted to have a go at me or talk to me...until he started giving me a really fab massage.

It was one of those club encounters that stuck... we hooked up every now and again in cafes and the like (Jess used to bring me Oreo cookies back from her homeland, Canada).

1997 - Bristol - Henry

October: Henry was a strange boy, I met him through his brother - who worked at the Arnolfini. It was around this time that I was hanging out with Peter Potato... a guy connected in several ways through the Bristol social scene... he and I sparred at the gym most nights and then came to the Arnolifini to drink away the pain.

One night, after much drinking, Henry took a dislike to somebody in the cafe... and after I had already left, decided to get into a figh... Peter Potato had to help break it up. The next day I walked into the Arnolfini, picked up strange, tense glances from the staff - who all knew me - and found nobody would serve me. The manager came over then, a young fat kid, with a sneer on his face and said, "You're barred." I laughed, I really thought he was joking. But no, he was dead serious... as far as he was concerned, Peter and I were bad news... trouble... ruffians (!!!! as if !!!!) ... and so this is how I came to be barred from a cafe!

Thanks Henry, not.

1997 - London - x, Peter Potato, Djr

October: Sky had moved to London and was working the kitchens of a cool little place in Soho. So I went to hang out with him.

It was also the weekend that a whole bunch of the Bristol scene travelled to London, en-masse, for a private party in a converted health spa, near Covent Garden. That... was a wild night... full on clubbing with a 10 metre long jacuzzi, male/female showers, lots of black rubber furniture...

1997 - Amsterdam - David M, Philippe T, Djr

October: Two months working at the Agency had removed my debts and allowed me the freedom of an income again. I booked a trip to Amsterdam with the two crazy Frenchmen.

It was an immensely significant trip for me; I'd not been out of the country since April 1991. That had been my first trip to Amsterdam with Chris Tonka and Adam A...when I'd still been living in Newcastle and Bristol hadn't even existed in my imagination.

Yet, I'd not been in an aeroplane since Christmas 1981... when I'd flown to Norway on my own to be with Aunt Edle, Uncle Erling and my cousin Oystein.

So I found myself comparing my life from all these different angles. We landed, and I walked the guys from Centraal Station to the Red Light district, and to the Christian Shelter where I'd crashed with Chris & Adam 6 years earlier... the place was still there, still dirt cheap.

I was so thrilled to be there with Philippe and David. They were wonderful travelling companions... and they liked to party.

Of course, I'd learned the hard way 6 years ago that Amsterdam was not a 24 hour city, far from it in fact... 6 years ago I'd had to endure an awful night of walking around Amsterdam, freezing cold, loitering around the external vent of a kitchen to try and soak up warmth, falling asleep in a train station and getting kicked about by police... because we'd made the fatal error thinking we could stay up all night and have somewhere to hang out.

The Christian Shelter allowed you to come and go as you pleased, but they locked the doors at midnight. So our first night there we were all on a real high... it felt like the party was just getting started, but I knew we had to get back to the shelter. David and Philippe wanted to stay out. I warned them, and they even begged me to stay out with them, but at 2 minutes to midnight I waved them goodnight from the steps of the shelter, chilled out in the communal lounge for a while and then found a bunk-bed and slept wonderfully.

Around 9 in the morning, the Christian Shelter unlocked its doors again... and a very blue (cold) and miserable and weary pair of frenchmen shuffled into the room. I nearly laughed if it weren't for the fact they looked sooooooo dreadful. Sure enough, by 1 A.M they found everything closing up and so had had to spent a really rough 8 hours wandering around... trying to stay warm and stay safe.

That experience didn't spoil their enjoyement of the trip.

1997 - Amsterdam - Random

1997 - Amsterdam - Philippe T, David M

There was this pizza place on the edge of Red Light that became our mecca for the few days we were there... melted cheese and spicy sausage, perfect for those daily munchies...

1997 - Amsterdam - Djr

I called this picture:

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WALK IN THE WORLD

Because it was taken during a whole day that all three of us spent walking around the city, catching such sights as the Van Gogh musuem, whilst being sprinkled in a steady haze of drizzle... but I loved it, had my headphones on for most of the time, not a word of complaint from either Philippe or David about me being antisocial... had UNKLE on my headphones, and everything was perfect.

1997 - Amsterdam - Djr, Philippe T

David was really suffering from the night he'd spent walking the streets... so Philippe and I had a final evening to ourselves. This proved to be an exceptional fun night, which concluded with us both sitting in a late-night cafe knocking back beers, discussing our recent experiences, and bopping around in our chairs to some excellent dance tunes... generally grinning from ear to ear.

1997 - The Happy Flat - Djr

October: Halloween night. Matthias helped me wrap several bundles of bandages around my entire body, and then tight-pinned a whole section together down my spine, making it look like I was sutured up...some Boris Karlof monstrosity.

We realised that we didn't have any booze so wandered into the huge Sainsbury's that had just opened up at the bottom of our hill. Of course, not everybody is clued-up to Halloween when it happens... plus there was kids on every aisle that just burst into tears or ran away screaming when they clapped eyes on us... it got so bad we actually had parents giving us agro for scaring their kids.

1997 - The Happy Flat - Matthias P

October: Of course, having Matthias with me didn't help... he was formidably menacing.

1997 - Castle of Tranquility / Bristol - Sonja

October: Back in summer 1995, Matthias had been working in a kebab shop and had befriended a young lad called Sky... since that time Matthias had grown a freindship with Sky's mother, a woman called Sonja. Throughout all that time I'd never met Sonja... I'd sometimes heard her arriving downstairs and heard her voice as she went through the hall into Matthias' place. The first time I did meet Sonja was the week Michelle split up with me,during the few days I spent lying on Matthias' sofa feeling sorry for myself; Sonja walked in, came over to me and stroked my hair... and made me feel a little bit better. Sonja became my surrogate mother in Bristol.

Over the next few weeks I developed a strong and important friendship with Sonja, and her daugher Zed.

1997 - Castle of Tranquility / Bristol - Indi

This is Sonja's house, where the Halloween party was taking place. This is the first time I'd met Indi, one of Zed's friends...

1997 - Castle of Tranquility / Bristol - Zed

November: if Sonja was my surrogate mother in Bristol, then Zed became my surrogate sister. It really was like having family just down the road... Castle of Tranquility was only a 5 minute walk from the Happy Flat.

1997 - Bristol - Matthias P

November: Matthias was finally able to buy the huge black leather great-coat he'd been saving up for all year. He looked awesome. He shaved off all his hair, right down to the scalp, bought himself some huge New Planet Rock boots and strode through the city like he belonged in one of my novels.

Matthias was doing a lot of different filming around this time. One day I came home to find he'd covered a large part of his flat in heavy-duty black plastic bin liners... it looked like a murder scene... Matthias was naked on the floor, in the middle of all this black plastic, covered head to foot in black acrylic paint... gurgling, snarling and gnashing his teeth as he squirmed around... whilst holding a video camera above him filming it all.

1997 - The Happy Flat - Michelle Blue Nails

November: Two years after I'd first met Michelle, when she'd been working the bar at the brand new Cafe Blue, she and I were still good friends. Memory: chilling out in my room, stubbing out her cigarette...

1997 - London - Djr

November: this was a weekend trip with David M and his girlfriend Louise to her family home... I got to spend a lot of time chilling and working on Heist / Dante's Fool... writing notes in spiral bound notebooks, which later became the inspiration for DS Cloud having to work through torn sheets of notepaper in DeKlerk's old files. This trip, and the previous month, saw me spend a lot of time sitting in cafe Nero in Soho, and in Covent Gardens, watching people and writing down descriptions and observations...

...the situation at work, with the Agency, was taking an interesting development. Initially when I'd been hired I was supposed to be a shared admin resource between two departments. A power-struggle broke out and one department, Comms, won full control of me. I was unaware of this until I met my boss for the first time, after being there 3 months... a guy called K1eth B00t... who must have seen something in me... I was plucked out of the admin role and began learning Comms. By time Christmas came round, Kaiser B00t felt confident enough to let me run the South West & Head Office regions... I was thrilled by the level of trust. They gave me a pager...whooo-hooo!

Meanwhile, my trip to Amsterdam in October had fired up a wanderlust... I'd booked a trip to Egypt... my plan was to fly into Luxor, then hitch hike up to Cairo for a return flight home. That never happened. One week before I was supposed to fly out, dozens of tourists were killed at one of the Temples by Islamic Extremists. All flights were cancelled... I got a full refund.

1997 - Newcastle - Mum

December: this refund became a godsend. Mum and I were talking loads on the telephone... exploring our new found friendship. She revealed to me how bad things were at home, financially... the solicitors had bled dad dry, the court case had stalled, and Rob P and Ed W were still refusing to give him the money he was owed after they stole his company from him... Newcastle was in the full grip of winter and there wasn't enough money to pay for gas, and barely enough for electric... my parents had been forced to install electronic key-metres because of their financial difficulties...

... I had nearly a £1,000 back from the failed Egypt trip, so I took a trip to London and bought a load of presents, then I grabbed a 9 hour National Express coach to Newcastle for Christmas... I whacked a ton of money onto the gas metre, the electric metre, paid off the phone bill, bought the tree... bought the food and booze... we were flat broke but it was the best Christmas we'd ever had. For the first time for as long as I could remember, we were a family... a proper, loving, really connected family. Mum and I got on like a house on fire... it was great.

1997 - Newcastle - Adam A

December: I got a surprise call from Adam, who had long since moved to San Francisco and who'd I'd not really seen since some stormy-friendship days in 1991. However, all these years I kept coming back to Newcastle, I usually did the "walk around Jesmond" thing, recalling all my old haunts, and this always took me past the huge house belonging to Adam's parents... as the years went by I began to increasingly regret the loss of our friendship... so getting a call from him saying "we're meeting up at the Lonsdale if you want to come along" was a great moment.

We hooked up and it was as if the bad blip of 1991 had never happened, time, and the massive duration of our friendship, since the age of 11 in 1981, made such things as Rachel Boots insignificant.

Adam was about to invest in a bar in San Fran.

1997 - Newcastle - Alex M, Ciaran O'c, Djr

December: I'd not seen Alex since London in 1994. We're all around 27/28 here.

1997 - Newcastle - Ciaran O'c

December: When we'd arranged to meet, I suggested a recent discovery for me, called Pannis. That suggestion introduced Ciaran to the place, which became an employment life-saver for him a few years later.

1997 - Newcastle - Djr, Dad

December: taken in Bimbi's fish & chips shop that used to exist beside the Odeon Cinema on Northumberland Street... a place Dad and I had queued up outside for four hours, about 20 years earlier, to watch Star Wars..

1997 - Newcastle - Grassy

December: I hooked up with Grassy at her mum's place, we trudged through fresh snow and along familiar streets of Jesmond... strange to think we had once been in love... now it was a friendship with the occaisional physical fling when the time was right. We did the old-Jesmond faithful... "Francesca's"... and then back to her mum's for a Vampire Wedding.