1st January 2007. I start the year in a wonderful place. I've had 8 months without needing to work, giving me the quality time to be with family during a very difficult period, time to be creative, time to be me. I've got an amazing girlfriend who I adore, fancy and is my best friend. I've got a cosey castle in Bristol large enough to allow me my own space. I've got my health and the ability to walk on my own two legs... these are things I do never want to take for granted.

What do I want for 2007? Complete a polished 2nd Edition for Yellow Dawn, a draft-illustrated version of Cloudy Head, and polished editions of God Seed, Dante's Fool and Iron Man Project... all available in hardcopy through Lulu dot com. I want to complete the new novel Dog Eat Dog and pick up the novel I started and stopped (to write Yellow Dawn) called Edge. I want my creative talents to get the recognition they deserve. I want somebody to realise that I had so many story-lines stacked up in backlog it would take me a lifetime to write them. I want the money in my life to be able to continue what I'm doing right now... living and creating.

The only worries I have is about my mother being alone now. What will she do with her life now that the focus has shifted. Dad is gone. I want the money to be able to co-exist between Newcastle and Bristol.

In mum's garden. This little fella was determined to get its hands on the bird nuts. The only way it could manage was to climb up onto the bird table and then shimmy down from above. The photo doesn't do the Squirrel's stun the justice it deserves... it is a long way off the ground hanging from that bird feeder.

Thursday morning. I've decided to have a lazy day away from the laptop. I'm sitting up in the sofa bed in Dad's room, one cup of tea with News 24, then my sister brings me a second cuppa: she's leaving back to London this day. Simpsons. Buildings that Shaped Britain. More News 24, then I'm up, yoga on the warm wooden floor. Pete calls round, fancy going to Simonside? Yeah! I say. Get dressed. Pack away some sandwhiches. Say a heartfelt goodbye to my sister and off we go.

Pete didn't want to take the dog but the dog came with us. It was sick in the car 30 seconds before we pulled up in the car park but hey... it didn't spoil the day. And what a day. I've never been to Simonside before but I'll certainly be coming back. Incredible, beautiful and a nice moderate challenge with freezing winds battering you after you ascend out of the forest.

It only took an hour to hike up to the top bit. It's funny how my mind started fantasising about bacon sandwhiches and the flask of coffee we'd be breaking out at the top.

I kind of misjudged my footing at one point and managed to sink down into this stuf that didn't just run off like muddy water...

Taking these pictures I couldn't help wondering if they would become important to Carycs in her later life. These moments are undoubtedly important to her and Pete, in the father-daughter bonding process... will she remember these moments clearly in her head 10, 20, 30 years from now? An adult looking back on the fragments of childhood the mind decides to retain and cherish.

Early January. I'm wearing the toasty Norweigan socks knitted by Rosie & Pete's relative from Bergan. This is my point-of-view after waking up, mug of tea in hand.

Early January. Mum. If she's not sitting there at night, then she's in the old dinning room, where the sofa and armchair now reside, tucked away from view of all the windows.

Early January. I've probably said this before, but I'll say it again... I've never known cats to ever have personalities like Bobby (and his brother Sid). When I come home to Newcastle I look forward to seeing mum and friends, but I also look forward to spending time with these furry chaps. They're now immortalised by Kenn-Ole in the artwork for Cloudy Head.

Late January. I'm back in Bristol for the first time since Dad died on 29th November. I'd been in Newcastle for about 6 weeks and I was seriously freaked out being back. I remember coming through the airport and remembering the journey I had to do on the 29th... being in Newcastle I thought I'd dealt with Dad's death, but that now seemed to be far from the truth. Jo picked me up from the airport and I remember heading to the place Jo and I were calling "home". It wasn't the Happy Flat, but that didn't bother me... my mum was now alone... I was stuck down here...blah blah blah...lots of confused thoughts and surging emotions.

But, within a few days, and several visits to Bristol cathedral to light a candle for Dad, seeing freinds, remembering who was important in my life here and now...I became enthused with a great happiness to be back. I finally fell in love with Cosey Castle and now desperately wanted to make sure Jo & I could keep it. I began an intense period of spending days in the Sky Bunker preparing Cloudy Head, God Seed, Dante's Fool and Iron Man Project to be published. The pressure for me to find a job (to get the mortgage to keep the house) has been removed by Jo taking alternative action (after Dad died and I decided to stay up in Newcastle); so I have a few months to "get things done".

I stuck my head "outside" to catch up with friends. There was a lovely dinner at Simon's, with Vicky and Jo, and Jules (aka Miss Scarlet) who I'd not seen for almost 2 years, and during which time she'd been married and divorced, moved out of Bristol into nearby rural life.

This is a picture of Hagen taken at our "local" on Gloucester Road, although it is around this time I start spending a lot of time at my new favourite cafe, a place called Coffee #1 a bit further up the road, near Simon's pad.

Late January. On the same weekend as dinner at Simon & Vics, we all pile round to see Tony & Sophie in their new house. It's been 18 months since I left the Agency. Tony stayed and continues to work within the 'Thing' the Agency created; he's happy though, and continues to run a successful D&D campaign. However, it seems I never actually see him "socially" these days, which is a shame because I enjoy his company.

Early February. I've known James since the glory days of the Agency. We used to bump into each other every few months after he left, stop on the street for a quick catch-up and that was is. Then early 2006 we reconnected and began a weekly tradition of meeting up in the Watershed to play back-gammon. I loved it. This was whilst I was working for big telecomms company, bouncing between London / Paddington and Bristol office by Temple Meads. When that contract ended in April 06, and I went to Newcastle for 3 months, the tradition with James ceased, but, early 2007 we're back on again.

Early February. It happened. A knock at the front door. I get downstairs and find a postman. Large box, special delivery. I pop it open and suddenly feel like McFly in "Back to the Future" when Marty comes back to the new version of his future, and his dad has a box of books delivered... my books, my babies, in living breathing paper and ink.

A consequence of Dad dying. Kenn-Ole attends the funeral and offers to do the artwork for Cloudy Head. When he swiftly sends it through I was forced to find a way to get the work 'out there'. I discover Lulu. What Myspace has done for music, and LoveFilm has done for DVD's, Lulu is doing for the publishing world. Completing Cloudy Head I realised I could do the same for my novels.

No longer am I held back by the pompous gate-keepers of the traditional publishing world. Now I have the opportunity to make my mark; it's now down to me to succeed or fail... but at least I can try now.

Right now I can't quite remember how long Z's been out there. When did you leave Z? Anyways, her life has taken a huge positive upswing whilst being in Oz. She's met an incredible man (Si) and her musical abilities are finding expression through Bondi Radio and a band she's doing vocals for.

I'm really happy for her. To be honest I don't see her ever moving back to England... certainly not the UK. Maybe some day, a rural retreat surrounded by rolling green hills with the surf/coast still nearby. We stay in touch via regular texts, the occaisional E-mail; every few months I record a video of her old life and people in Bristol and post it on Myspace for her to watch.

Early February. Interestingly, when Matthias moved from Bristol to live in Bath with Tanya (around 2004) we almost entirely lost touch. The few times I did see him between then and 2007 normally involved a train ride to Bath, hanging around waiting for him to get into the city centre from his house, and us drifting around cafes in various weathers.

Now something was different. Since returning from Newcastle my confidence in life was back (it basically died in September 2004). I discovered Matthias's front door was a 15 minute drive from my (new) front door- the Cosey Castle. And a lovely drive, too. Through blissful English countryside, rolling hills and one stately mansion (Kelston Park) with a vast open lands.

Abruptly, the vibe that used to define our relationship in the Ying-Yang House, and Bristol generally, a vibe I held aloft as special, was back. Now I could ring him 9 a.m. and say "coffee?" and by 9.20 I'd be on the collapsing sofa supping a lovely strong mug of caffeine.