2006 - Australia (photo from) - Zed

September: Zed turns 22 and wakes up in a swanky hotel room overlooking Sydney Harbour. I miss my soulmate and confidante; but I know she is exceptionally happy and that is a good thing.

2006 - Newcastle - Adam A

September: I bounce back to Newcastle after returning from France. Adam is heading over from San Francisco and has arranged a bit of a get together in town, with people I've not seen for years.

Adam is looking a lot better than the last time I saw him, back in 2002. A lot less stress in his life, I believe.

I realised that we've known each other 25 years now.

2006 - Gateshead - Richy

September: Richy is now married and living with a great woman, in Gateshead. He's working with young drug addicts and alcoholics in the city.

Adam swung by in his dad's car, picked me up and we took a trip across the bridge. This was my first visit to Richy's house.

2006 - Gateshead - Adam A, Richy

September: Richy has a cupboard filled with old boardgames from our early years.

We spent the night playing Block Wars, and then Richy dug out Fury of Dracula. Oh my God, I'd spent years dreaming about playing this again.

Back in 1990, whilst Grassy was away in Italy for several months, Richy and I spent the summer and autumn playing Fury of Dracula in my room in Osborne Avenue. It's a period of my life I have very vivid memories from....

... I told Richy that I had spent 15 years wishing I could get my hands on a boxed set. Richy looked at me, smiled, went upstairs and came down with something behind his back... then he produced a second boxed set and gave it to me.

Wow, I was blown away.

Subsequently, I took it round to Pete & Rosie, who live next door to my parents... and they have now become addicted to it.

2006 - Newcastle - Joseph Rnk & Family

September: there was a big gathering going on at Adam's parents house.

Joseph was a kid I went to school with from the age of 11. He once punched me in the face as the doors of the Metro closed at Ilford Road, because I'd called him a silly name. It was a Friday night after school. It hurt but I thought nothing more of it. So it was amusing to discover this night, 25 years later, that Joseph had spent that entire weekend after punching me, stressing about what was going to happen to him when he got into school on Monday: police? lynch mob?

Joseph is possibly enjoying this moment with his family more than usual. He died several months ago. Clinically dead for 17 minutes. Brought back into a coma, which he then surfaced from without physical or mental disability. A rather remarkable story.

2006 - Newcastle

September: A further reunion was planned, meeting up in a pub in the city centre, near the haymarket.

2006 - Newcastle - Ali T

September: I get there early so I go to the bar and grab a drink. Turning round I see this little guy with a big smile coming towards me... and my mind is reeling back to 1991.

Ali T, another kid from school days, who I also knew for the few years I had in Newcastle after school. What a great experience, to see someone after so many years. I suddenly dialled-into why people did reunions.

2006 - Newcastle - Ali T, Richard Wte

September: Much later in the evening another familiar face arrived, Richard Wte... unfortunately I'd consumed enough booze to sink a rhino so doubt I made much sense to him. But like Ali, I'd gone to school with him. Here's a photo of Ali and Richard from 1984...

2006 - Newcastle -Ali T, Richy, Adam A, Djr

September: I enjoy the fact that Richy, who I've known since I was 6, came to know and become good friends with the people from my later school days.

2006 - Newcastle -Joseph Rnk

September: Joseph turned up and it was really lovely to hang out with him and the school gang.

2006 - Newcastle -x

September: I cannot remember this guys name. He was there amongst us during the reunion, a friend of Adam and Joseph. He and I looked at each other and knew that we knew each other, but could not recall how, why or when...

... until later, when I realised this guy lived with Adam in Joseph's house in Jesmond. And he realised I was the guy who removed his bathroom window one morning, to crawl through with a gun, followed by Karl P, and then brushed past him --- whilst he made objections and protestations with a mouthful of cereal --- as Karl and I raced to get to Adam's room and assassinate him (playing Killer).

We managed to shoot Adam dead... with him halfway across the room from his bed, trouserless, clutching his nads as he stumbled for his gun after hearing us coming.

2006 - Newcastle

From left to right:

• Ali T
• Joseph Rnk
• Djr
• Adam A
• Richard Wte

2006 - Newcastle

September: the week comes to an end. Newcastle has been fantastic, yet again. Mum and I visit Dad several times in hospital; he's been there for 9 months now, fighting off one infection after another.

I choose to return to Bristol... and once again find myself on a dark highway at night, I can see a little way ahead of me and I don't know where I'm going or where I'll end up.

Simon P says, "I'm worried about you... you just seem to be drifting."

Sure, I am drifting. And I'm blissfully happy doing so. After all the turmoil of the past 12 months... my father's declining health, my mother's dependancy on my income, then my career being shafted, leaving the Agency after 8 years, leaving the Happy Flat after 11 years and going through several weeks of absolute misery in the new house... I'm glad to be drifting.

I'm looking for a job, meanwhile I'm spending days in Baristas / Bocha Bar, with the awesome Goodfillas... or upstairs in the Sky Bunker, with the laptop plugged into the stereo... working on Dog Eat Dog... working on Yellow Dawn...

2006 - Bristol

September: this is the view I'd have every day after parking in my secret car park, near Dominic's flat... and then walk 10 minutes into town.

2006 - Bristol

September: one of the few positive things I could draw from the new house, at this time, was the fact there was a fabulous short cut, linking Hanham with my old haunt of Brislington, and an easy route into town...

There was a string of early mornings when the river, that ran alongside part of the shortcut, would have this mist hanging above the water.

2006 - Westonburt

October: Jo and I take a trip to Westonburt to catch the autumn colours, just as we did last year. I get to reflect on how much my life has changed...

Simon & Vicky suffered a tragic loss a few weeks earlier. Baby Pyne had a tree planted in his memory here at Westonburt.

2006 - Westonburt

October

2006 - Jesus Mound - St John

October: Kitsch'n Cafe. I'm in Bristol for two weeks before I grab a last-minute flight back to Newcastle, purely on impusle.

It's mad to think I've known Mike and St John for 2 years now. Where did the time go?

St John is about to move to India, following his girlfriend (Berg), whose job has taken her out there. Meanwhile, the product he and Mike are working on is near completion and nearly ready to launch (KdSafe). If it flies, it will make them both insanely rich. So fingers and toes crossed for them.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Richy

October: Funny, all these years of coming up here and never hooking up with Richy, despite him living just across the river.

I guess we drifted apart around 1996.

Richy and I have picked up our friendship following on from the big reunion, thanks to Adam A.

This day we met up in the Tyneside Coffee Rooms. I got there early (no surprise), sat down in the corner sofas and marvelled a how time had stood still. The same purple velvet seat covers, the same decor, even some of the same staff!!!

I used to live in the cafe duing 1989 - 1991... I don't think I'd really been back since 1996, when I met the delicious Saira and her crazy friend "reap the whirlwind" who was the inspiration behind Killing Candy.

I felt a deep connection with my past, sitting there. Not my local past, based in Bristol, but my distant past. Me, in my late teens and as a 20 year old. I treated myself to a Ham & Cheese toasty, mug of coffee with a blast of squirt foam cream. They were identical to how they used to be 15 - 16 years earlier. Incredible.

For all tha I love the cafes in Bristol, this place, that has not aged, now strikes me as wonderfully unique against the generic chrome furniture and expensive expresso machine havens of the brand chains.

Richy arrived whilst I had my face buried in some notes. Paper and pen on my lap. He laughed, picking up on the fact I would have been doing the same thing when we used to meet here all those years ago. It made me smile.

Richy & I spent forever in the cafe, then walked back through town towards Jesus Mound...passing Adam's parents house, then spent several hours walking around all our old haunts... remembering the Jesmond Village experience. Damn, it was good!

So this picture shows Osborne Avenue; this is where Richy was living when he decided to pop round on that fateful day in November 1989, a day that changed my life forever... and the day I met Grassy.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Richy

October: Different house, same street. This is the scene of the wonderful shared-house experience. Jason Judge and John Proudfoot.

It was this house I returned to with Grassy after Richy's party... before heading back to my parents house with her.

It was January 1990 when I spent a week crashing in Grassy's attic room (top front) whilst she was away, and I was escaping the hell of being back home with mum (at that time).

It was March 1990 when I moved into the bottom front room; Anna-Maria was moving out. Chris Rea - the Road To Hell. A small white and black coffe table. Bowls of Tuna Mayonaise with slices of bread. Pots of Tea. A game of Cthulhu.

Then Grassy moved out (summer 1990) and I took her attic room.

I finally left this house in September 1991. Nikita movie soundtrack and a 9mm Beretta. A couple weeks in my parents house, then voom, gone to Bristol.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Sam Dimple Chin

October: Kitsch'n Cafe. I've known Sam since the parties of 1984 / 85, when she used to hang out with Adam A, and Joseph Rnk.

She's in partnership with St John over the cafe, and busts a gut to run the place... and makes some great cakes.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Sid

October: with my sister now living in London, and Dad continuing to be stuck in hospital, the two cats Sid & Bob have become a lifelife of companionship for my mum.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Mum, Djr

October: so having the freedom of time (and movement), and a large chunk of savings to fund that freedom... has allowed me to be here, in Newcastle, during an incredibly important period. It's been good for me, but it's also been good for my mum, and now we find each other really knowing who we both are... as adults, and friends, beyond the simple paradigm of mother and son, and well beyond all the pain and hurt and anger and confusion of her rejecting me my entire life, up to the age of 27.

2006 - Bristol - Djr

October: Arnos Vale Cemetary. I head back to Bristol.

2006 - Bristol

October: Arnos Vale Cemetary. This is the crumbling remains of the caretaker house, which I had first described back in 1996 whilst it was still being used...for the short story "Arnos Vale".

2006 - London - Grassy, Nick

October

2006 - Bristol - Claire

October: several of Jo's friends got together for a girly night, a murder mystery... no men allowed, although Simon P and I turned up later.

2006 - Bristol - Oj, Djr

October

2006 - Bristol - Sarah, Djr

October

2006 - Bristol - Claire, Djr

October

2006 - Bristol - Oivind

October: it was around now that I had decided to push forward with a second edition of Yellow Dawn. The first edition had been very well recieved, and my Game group was now playing Yellow Dawn on a regular basis.

I was hoping Oivind would be able to do the artwork for it, and we knocked around several ideas but in the end, I realised I did not have the funds to pay him what his work was worth... so I had to abandon the idea of using him.

2006 - Bristol - Hågen

October: from a random encounter through a gaming internet meet-up site, Hågen has become a major friend within my life. He was there when Jo and I were humping everything out of the Happy Flat (along with Simon P and Sonja), he was there when Jo and I cracked open a bottle of champagne our first night in Cosey Castle (and I was fighting off my terror and feeling of unease about the strange bloody smell from the kitchen)... more importantly, he was there for me in those first few weeks (July 2006) when I was really torn-up about being away from Newcastle, and my Dad, and my whole life felt like it was in ruins...

2006 - Bristol - Nice Guy Tony, Oj, Simon P

November: it was a random last minute suggestion. I'd not seen Tony for ages. It was a good night. Memory of delicious hot dogs with lots of relish, steaming in the freezing cold air, washed down with chilled beer...delish.

Tom & Laura were also there that night.

2006 - Bristol

November: fireworks night.

2006 - Bristol

November: fireworks night.

2006 - Bristol

November: fireworks night.

2006 - Bristol

November: A hill overlooking Bristol on one side, and Bath on the other.

I call the row of trees: The Sentinels.

2006 - Bath - Baraka

November: I've known Baraka for a couple of years now, originally as an online entity (Z-West), who soon became a Realworld friend. A true creative with a deep soul and a thousand intelligent ideas. She's pushing several projects... pulling in creative and technical resources and seeking funding... this is a woman on a mission, and with the determination to [ Make It Happen ]. Hopefully I'll be there and part of the ride.

Help me make a lot of money, B!

2006 - Bristol - Oj, Djr

November: It had been 2 years since my "world fell apart". I've been dealing with some major life issues and struggling to find happiness in casual moments of time. I'm being creative - pulling together several seperate projects but darkness filled the corners of my world.

Throughout all this, Jo has been there with me.

2006 - Jesus Mound

November: Another couple weeks of Bristol and then I jump back on another flight to Newcastle. Dad has been more ill than usual of late, but he makes another recovery and all of us are pretty certain he's going to see in Christmas and the New Year.

Meanwhile, Pete, my mate from next door throws a surprise party for his Dad, who is in his 80's and still going strong. Mum gets to hide one of their Norweigan friends for a couple days, during which time they prepare lots of delish food for the secret party.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Mosa

November: from Bergen, she and mum really hit it off whilst she stayed with us. And so did I, a lovely woman. I saw her doing lots of traditional Norweigan knitting and told her that my Grandmother used to send me these amazing hand knitted thick winter socks every year - when I was younger I was quite dismissive of them, but now I'm older, I actually appreciate them. Mosa asked me if I wanted a pair of hand-knitted Norweigan socks. It was like Christmas coming early. Yes, I said. And that's what she made me.

2006 - Jesus Mound - George

November: this is Pete's Dad. He told a lot of stories from his days after WWII, working with radars. My favourite story was of him holding up an oily rag with a pair of pliers to powerful transmission lines... causing the rag to burst into flames so he could then light his pipe.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Mum

November: it was great to see mum happy and genuinely enjoying herself.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Pete

November: Pete really got into the whole party spirit. It's been a fantastic period of friendship with him. Strange to think that he'd been living next to my parents since 1997, but only this year that he and I really got to know each other. Probably an age-related thing... and a consequence of me spending 3 months up here during April - July. He's a really solid, stand-up guy.

2006 - Jesmond Dene

November: it was my final day in Newcastle. 27th November, 2006. I took a long walk through the Dene... savouring the wilderness on my doorstep, the quiet and intense atmosphere.

2006 - Jesmond Dene

November

2006 - Jesmond Dene

November: I went to the "hugging tree", which is a place I've been coming to during rain or sunshine, to stand and think, and contemplate my feelings, since I was 16 years old. So I suppose this tree and I have been friends for 20 years now.

2006 - Jesmond Dene

November: I walked along the far ridge of the Dene, and descended down by the waterfall, where a horse-shoe bridge crosses the river.

2006 - Jesmond Dene

November: I climbed up the steep cobble-stone path back onto the nearside ridge, and followed Jesmond Dene Road back to my parents house.

2006 - Jesus Mound

November: this is my old bedroom, and the view when you sit at the desk.

2006 - Jesus Mound

November: Dad's room. Since it became obvious Dad would not be coming home again, mum took the decision to take out the hospital-grade bed and transform the room into a lovely space.

There is a fantastic atmosphere in the room, and a sense of Dad in there... even though he only got to spend less than a year living here.

When I'd arrived in Newcastle a week earlier I had silently praye this visit would last a long time. And it did. It felt as though I had been there a month. It was a wonderful week... and I got to see a lot of Dad.

This day, 27th November, I spent some time in Kitsch'n Cafe with my laptop, knocking back strong coffee and working on "Shadows of the Quantinex", then grabbed a Metro and rode through to the stop near Dad's hospital... did the walk down the steep steps, along the main road, through side gates, car park, and into the hospital complex ...

...as I approached Dad's room, a nurse saw me coming and stepped up to warn me that the man in the next bed to Dad had just died.

I walked in to find that bed curtained off. I'd seen the man in that bed for many weeks, and now he was lying there, just beyond the curtain, no longer living.

Dad was asleep. I quietly pulled up a chair beside his bed and sat down with a copy of New Scientist. The feature article was about life after death. Bizarre.

After a while Dad stirred, opened his eyes, saw me and smiled broadly. We spoke for a while, more that we had done in months. He was really lucid. I leaned over and gave him an "Eskimo kiss", rubbing my nose against his, as he used to do to me when I was a child... I could smell his scent, and ever-present Aramis aftershave, rising up on the heat of his body.

I sat for a long time, leaning over the hard railing that ran alongside the edge of the bed, ignoring the discomfort of it digging into my ribs, so I could keep my arm over him, my hand stroking his shoulder and chest... his body had become scarecrow thin, yet strangely taught as if the muscles were hard and lean.

I told him I was flying back to Bristol that night. I told him I would be back in 2 weeks, with Jo and Kelvin, and that my sister would be here too. I said, "You won't know where to look there will be so many people visiting you."

I remember telling him about the wonderful walk I had just had in the Jesmon Dene that morning, I started describing the light, how special and golden it was, and how magical the atmosphere was... my words formed a pure stream of consciousness, a narrative that I became aware of as I was speaking them, as if I was hearing them from somebody else... fabulous images were forming and I could see with delight that Dad was seeing everything I was describing, he was remembering and imagining... Dad settled back in the bed and looked into the middle-distance with a serene expression.

The last time I saw Dad was as I was leaving; I stopped in the doorway to his room, turned and said, "Give me a wave then."

He smiled, child-like, and lifted one of his hands, fingers clenched together as they have been for months, and he wiggled that ruined hand from side-to-side... I smiled and headed off, but I'd gone the wrong way, so had to spin round and walk past the doorway to his room again...

I met his eyes... he smiled at me, knowing I'd made a mistake... and then I was gone. A few hours later I was on a plane heading back to Bristol.