2006 - Jesus Mound - Djr

April 14th: the day before I was in London, wrapping up the end of my contract and saying goodbye to some lovely people... now I'm back home, in Newcastle, with no need to return until the purchase of the house is completed.

I am quite literally...free.

I've got enough money in the bank to last a year - at least - without needing to work.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Oj

April 14th

2006 - Jesus Mound - Oj

April 14th

2006 - Holy Island - Mum

16th April: Mum has changed since dad went into hospital, or certainly since we've realised it is unlikely Dad will be coming out again. She surprised my sister and I be actually accepting our invitation to Holy Island with Jo.

We drove up there together, and had a wonderful day exploring the island, then lunch in Bamborough. I think it's been 26 years since I've been anywhere with my mum.

2006 - South Shields - Oj & Djr

April: Jo and I joined my sister and her friends for a trip to South Shields. There was a fairground, but the queues were massive, so Jo and I went to the pier on the far side of the river Tyne, opposite Tynemouth Pier.

You'll notice the bright coloured thing on the wrist of my reflection, that's a nod to Tamryn Van Rensburg and is the candy bracelet she gave me on my final day on the job in London.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Oj

April: Jo spent several days with me in Newcastle but then had to return back to Bristol and a career. I wasn't sure how long I'd be staying in Newcastle... in the end it turned out I was up there for two months.

So I didn't see Jo again until the middle of June.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Akr

April: Within a few days of being up here, I had the wonderful realisation that my sister and I had reformed an important bond (the one that's been ragged since 2001). I felt closer to my sister than I have done for years, comfortable. This has been an incredibly tough time for her. Not only has she been dealing with the criminally insane at work, and all the emotional drain that entails, she's been coping with mum and dad, and trying to work out what she's doing with her life.

She has now moved to London, and I was struck by how much I missed her presence in the house. I wonder how mum will cope when I return to Bristol. Dad is not there. Mum will be alone.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Pete

April - June: Hopefully this man will help. Pete's one of my parent's neighbours, along with Rosie, and 3 young daughters. They're a nice family and good to live next to. Our gardens have no partition and we're often in each other's house with a glass of wine. Pete's was hooked by my novel Dante's Fool, and is now getting through God Seed. It's his friend who is in V for Vendetta, Pirates of Caribbean, and who had my mother up until 6am drinking whisky last summer.

He and I went to see Silent Hill other night, then cycled around Jesmond back streets at night with no lights to reach a small pub tucked away and free of the student plague currently ruining the greater part of Jesmond. Pete is rapidly evolving from a "bloke who happens to live next door" into a proper friend.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Djr

April - June: after Jo left, I settled into an easy routine. Up early, a quick stroll up to Acorn Road and Kitsch'n Cafe... mornings spent there necking really strong coffee and working on a variety of small projects: mainly Yellow Dawn orientated.

Most afternoon's involved time spent on the trampolene next door. In fact, this became the centre-piece of my memories of this period of my life.

2006 - Jesus Mound- Jo & Mike C

April - June: The arrival of Kitsch'n Cafe in November 2004 created a fantastic hub for me, right on my doorstep, a 5 minute walk from parents house. The coffee is superb and I can easily spend all day there, plugged in with my laptop. This is Mike, one half of Kitsch'n, and his daughter Jo.

Mike may become the star of a short cartoon series I want to do called "Mike The Bat", which involves him using a baseball bat to dispense instant justice on the students here.

2006 - Jesus Mound- St John & Bergett

April - June: St John is the other half of Kitsch'n cafe, and other ventures. He invited me over for Sunday roast. Arrived and walked into a gorgeous apartment boiling with smoke and fire alarms shrieking. His way of doing roast potatoes. But they were worth all the noise and lung cancer. Very tasty.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Karen

April - June: I met Karen through Mike C. Met up at Osborne's one night to discuss some business and ended up staying there until closing time. Struck up a good rapport.

Karen was setting up a corporate companion company. Had a number of good nights out with her and her crew.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Ciaran o'C

April - June: I caught up with Ciaran a couple of times this visit. Got involved in filling hairline cracks in the plasterwork at his house. Lovely walk through Heaton Park for me (confronting memories of my past). He's coming out of a crater since a bombshell struck his life over a year ago.

Ciaran came over to Jesus Mound one night, then Pete popped round for a cup of coffee. By 3 o'clock in the morning we'd ploughed through over a litre of whisky. Next day I had the worst hangover of my life. I spent a whole day slumped in dad's robotic armchair watching UK History channel.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Grassy

April - June: Grassy is going through a tough time: living in London, about to get married, but dealing with her mother's deteriorating health, in Newcastle, without proper legal status.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Masonic Hall Fern Avenue

April - June: One of the creepiest buildings I've encountered. And not because it's used by the Freemasons. If you walk past it at night, it exudes this threatening atmosphere worthy of a Poe or Lovecraft story. Specifically this turret. You look up, the turrent back dropped by a clear night sky and ancient stars, and the windos peer back at you, brooding, full of menace, and glaring with secrets.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Pete

April - June: Pete was ploughing through the manuscript of my novel God Seed. Possibly not the best picture to demonstrate his enthusiasm for it.

Pete had an extension built onto the back of his house at the same time as my parents. This resulted in the boundary fence being removed. There is now one stretch of decking connecting both houses, and it's become a lovely state of play that both families regularly pad across the decking and through the backdoor of the other house - change of space - company etc.

Watched "Ice Cold in Alex" and "Intacto".

Pete has also become an avid fan of my writing: he can't understand why none of my novels have not been published. He reads copious amounts of books and says that my stuff is some of the best he's read.

Any publishers listening? Come on, give me the break I need.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Pete

April - June: Pete couldn't wait, ... and is a good reminder of an excellent story Pete told about going to a party when he was younger. Being found in an alley with a full moon pointing at the sky - and bits of a privet bush...

2006 - Jesus Mound - Clive

A few weeks ago I went to see V for Vendetta. I loved it so much I saw it twice. One thing that struck me was the actor who played Guy Fawkes at the beginning. It was a strange sensation. I felt like I knew him.

Skip a few weeks and I'm chatting with Pete about the film and he says "Oh my mate Clive is in that."

Yup, the actor who played Guy Fawkes. Indeed, he'd already been to my parents house, the year before. Stayed up until 6 am with Pete and my mother drinking whisky.

So Clive came back up to spend some time with Pete - currently on a break from filming the sequels to Pirates of the Carribbean.

I'd just finished a screen play I'd been commissioned to write by Roger P. Something I'd been putting off for a month, and then completed in 3 days.

I had this pulse of excitement. What if I could get Clive to be in my film?

First I had to meet him. He arrived the night we all stayed up until 6am ploughing through 2 litres of whisky. Rosie fell passed out in am armchair halfway through telling a story, after slurring she was unable to speak anymore. I fell asleep on the trampolene in Pete's garden, wrapped in a duvet, but the bird song and bumble bees buzzing was so loud I kept waking up. Very comfortable though. It was also the night Pete and Clive had some very intense heart-to-heart conversations about... stuff.

Next day I gave Clive the film script: SALO IV

Clive read it. Clive liked it. Clive said yes.

I'm over the moon.

2006 - Jesus Mound - Djr

April - June: Just before returning to Bristol.

7 weeks. It feels like forever. I was able to relax properly for the first time in a long time. Spent days watching UK History channel and just not thinking. Then reviewed all the old home videos and took snapshots to update these web pages with images of people and moments that were missing. In a way, I feel like I found who I used to be, before the Agency. Mum and I have not fought. We've played Olsen almost every day, and had a laugh.

Dad was moved to a special ward in a hospice where they look after people who are essentially dying. Mum and I made regular trips there by taxi... some days he would be lucid, other days he would be confused.

It's been an incredible 7 weeks. The last time I spent this long in Newcastle was October 1992, when Dad first fell ill and was having his company stolen from him. April - June 2006 will go down in history as a unique and special time.

I'm gutted to be going back. And I've had to make a choice. I could move back to Newcastle. I could press eject on Bristol and come to Jesmond and live in the fantastic luxury of this house, for very little money. I could do good by my mother, by being there for her, and I could live cheaply, letting my significant savings carry me for several years whilst I explore my creativity.

Or I can move back to Bristol. Leave the Happy Flat (my home of 11 years) and move into a new house. Where I'll have to find a "proper job" in the next 6 months to secure a mortgage, or be forced to move out .... and go where?? And the proper job will stiffle my creative freedom. And force me into the rat race like everyone else. But if I don't do this, then I lose Jo.

So I have to decide.